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Thursday, October 24, 2013

When a Woman Opens You: How to Help Her Close You

girl opens you
Sometimes a woman will open up a window of communication with you. What many guys will do is give her a "special" or tryhard response. Or the guy will start doing a bunch of techniques, teases, or moves that kill the interaction. Many guys either think, "shit I need to do something special to keep her attention", or "fuck I'm scared. What do I do?". What you need to realize is that, many times, a woman will open up a line of communication to you and you should just relax and be yourself. Here's an example:

A girl I haven't talked to in awhile texts me. I have completely forgotten about her and this text comes out of the blue. Automatically, what I do is keep going about whatever I was doing and give her a very generic response. The reason I give a generic response is because the only purpose of my response is to indicate to her that the communicate link has been established. This is the reason she sent that first text anyway. She has set the frame for my first response and I need to adhere to that or risk losing the interaction. Anyway, it takes no investment on my part. I just sent her a generic text. (ex. I'm doing great. You?).

Another very important thing I do is be patient. Okay, so she sent me a generic "how are you?" and I returned a generic response. Like I mentioned, we have to clearly realize that all we are doing is helping her open up that communication link. The next step is to let her feel comfortable communicating what she had on her mind. I do not mean that you are going to comfort her or kiss her ass. On the contrary, I mean that we need to not respond too fast. That means, send your responses spaced out about the same time she takes to respond to you. You can think of this as "pacing". You want to let her go at her communication pace. Remember, she did the favor of talking to you in the first place. So let thing flow at her pace at least at the beginning of the conversation. This will let her be comfortable.

This whole example is in regards to the phone. However, you can also apply these same principles in person.

Once the conversation has become comfortable for her, then time becomes your ally. As stated by one of my favorite natural game instructors, Alexander, arousal is a function of time. You want to let things flow for a bit. However, eventually you are going to want to throw in some teases or other stimulation if the conversation becomes stale and you haven't closed yet.

Here is a vital piece of the puzzle. I call it closing. That means that you need to either know when she is going to close the conversation or if you are going to close the conversation. If you let things linger too long, she will feel that you have nothing better to do or that you are clueless about moving things in the right direction by finishing the conversation. You can do this by saying you gotta go or you can set up a date or anything else that will set up the conversation for the next step or postpone for another time.

So relax and help the poor girl get what she came for. Don't be a dumbass and ruin a perfect opportunity. All you have to do is remain calm and assertive. Bring the interaction to completion. I, myself, have ruined a few of these opportunities in my learning phase. For example, There have been times when women have wanted to have sex with me and I started using techniques on them or just freezing up. Those things made me lose those opportunities. When a woman is leading, just let her feel comfortable. She is doing the work at that point.

Hope you enjoyed and Talk to you soon,


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