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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Finding the Receptive Women at the Bar

It’s a pretty important skill to be able to identify receptive women at a bar.
There have been many times when I have walked into a bar, spotted the most receptive women and ended up making out with them within less than a minute of saying hi to them.
There are two aspects to spotting receptive women in a bar. The first is knowing the signs and the second is having the reference experiences to be able to be more aware of the signs.
Here are the main girls you want to look out for: ...continue reading
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Friday, December 27, 2013

Getting Through the Holidays as a Single Guy

Do you feel lonely as the holidays approach?

It is pretty common for a lot of single guys to wonder if they are going to be alone or have someone during the holidays.

What is interesting is these guys feel like they are all alone out there. However, all of these alone people actually form a large group. Within this group, there is a treasure chest of opportunity.
For every lonely guy out there this holiday season, there is a lonely girl or maybe even two.
Here are some quick tips to snag someone so you can have some romantic and fun times during the holidays.

1. Check in with some girls from the past.

If there are any girls you have even had the slightest friendship or romance with in the past, you should give them a text or call.
Ask them how they are doing and what their plans are for the holidays. You may end up surprised how eager some of these girls will be.
continue reading...

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Thursday, December 19, 2013


Hey Guys. Our blog is now ranked on! Check it out here:

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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Should You End It?

There comes a time when you are on the fence about staying with a woman. You can feel your mind teeter-tottering back and forth on the edge of staying or going.
Before you make that decision, consider some of the following aspects of your relationship:

1. Are you both on the same page?

You want to gauge what levels you are both at. For example, you may want to have fun downtown with the guys and flirt with women at bars, while your woman may want to spend more time alone with you or have more commitment. 
On the other hand, let’s say both of you want commitment or both of you want to just have more freedom. Either way, you want to figure out where continue reading...
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Monday, December 16, 2013

Attract Someone Else By Being Yourself

So what does the Self have to do with attraction?

When you want to attract someone, you have to first investigate yourself before going out and trying to engage someone else.

For example, if a salesman showed up to your door and he was unsure of himself or the product he was offering, would you buy his product?

Many times, we forget that we have to know who we are and what we have to offer before trying to offer it to someone else. There are many ways of getting more in touch with ourselves such as meditation, exercise, goal-setting, planning, socializing, etc.

To take it a step further, continue reading...

Friday, December 13, 2013

How to Trust Women

There are three distinct concepts I want to talk to you about.
These are: understanding that women are women, trusting is the process of letting go and trust in yourself rather than put that focus on women.

The first concept is women are women.

What I mean by this is women will do what they need to do in order to achieve what they desire. Putting your trust in women is a gamble because they are going to do what they need to do to get the best outcome for themselves.
Their actions may involve staying with you, leaving you or anything in between.
For example, let’s take the case of Jason. Let’s say he is dating a girl, Jennifer, and has trouble trusting women. He gets worried when she doesn’t call him and generally wonders if she is serious about him or not.continue reading…
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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Attraction: Masculine and Feminine Energies Playing in Freedom Unbounded

masculine feminine polarity pua
Most people have a general understanding of masculine and feminine energies along with the theory of masculine/feminine polarity.

However, in order for this to exist properly, there has to be an arena where these energies play. Most people don't know that they are blocking the play of the masculine and feminine with people around them which doesn't allow for attraction to occur. 

What are the blocks?

Anything is a block to the play of feminine and masculine energies. In particular, WANTING can be a block.

Let's go further into this as an example. 

Guy walks up to a girl. Deep in his subconscious he wants a girlfriend, a quick lay, to get approval from her, approval from his friends, to make up for lost time, to see a hot naked girl, to  be loved, to not feel lonely anymore, wants her as his own companion, etc. 

It is great to want things because it gives you goals. However, to set off the interplay between the polar energies that create attraction in the male and female, these wants create a maze that the masculine and feminine will have to navigate in order to begin play. When you look at this from the truth reality of the present moment, the guy has effectively created huge barriers to the creation of attraction. If he goes in with all of his subconscious wants radiating from the surface, in reality, no attraction will happen because his wants are barriers that have blocked all attraction from having a chance at all.

Other blocks: Insecurity, outcome dependence, self consciousness, social pressure, fear, laziness, etc.

You can expand on the other blocks using the previous example to create an example of each. All of these pushes and pulls of the subconscious are fatal to attraction.

So the question comes. How can the feminine and masculine energies be allowed to have free interplay between each other?

It is simple yet a challenge for most people.

The simple aspect is that you just have to keep a clear mind. I call this idea "Blank Slate" and "Blank State".

The challenging aspect is that you may need to reprogram your subconscious to be able to access the "Blank State" and "Blank Slate". If you are heavily weighted with a negatively programmed subconscious you will need to take action until you have freed yourself of it. Things you can do are meditation, reading, writing, affirmation, hypnosis, changing your lifestyle, etc. It's a journey that will eventually lead to freeing your mind.

When you walk up to a woman, you want to have no wants hiddenly imposing themselves on her, no desire to convey extra value to her, and you want to be completely outcome independent. 

You may ask. Then why am I even talking to women in the first place if I have no agenda or reason for it?

Answer: In order to allow freedom of interplay of the polarized feminine and masculine without barriers, you have to go in with a "Blank Slate" and keep your mind in "Blank State". If you do this, the masculine and feminine are allowed to flirt with each other and quickly become attraction. We were born for this to happen. We have to allow the space for it to happen. 

Once attraction happens, then you can bring in wants, desires, etc. with the right timing. Without attraction happening first, you are just dreaming and imposing things on this person that may or may not ever happen. 

Interesting Point on Freedom

One thing that really helped me accept this epiphany that I have written about is the idea of abundance of feminine energy. 

David Deida talks about abundance of feminine energy and how we can absorb and feel that energy from any woman we come in contact with. We do not have to take action on this feminine energy in the form of sex or, basically, ejaculation. Every woman's energy is available for you to feel and enjoy. I combined this with Owen Cook's (Tyler Durden's) idea of having a wet hole to insert yourself into. Also, I like to add that wanting a woman as "yours" is really a skewed view on women. 

Having ownership of a wet hole to penetrate and to make you feel accepted and allowing you to be lazy and not meet other women, is really the way most men view women yet they don't understand it this way.

All women around you give off feminine energy and you can allow your masculine energy to play with their feminine energy as you wish. Acting on the attraction that is created does not have to happen and you don't have to trap and control that person because attraction has been created. 

In all reality, we should be independent human beings intermingling with each other. Never feeling scarcity that we should trap someone and force attraction out of them amidst countless barriers oozing from the subconscious.

We should allow the masculine and feminine to play all the time, unguarded. This is how people really fall into love.

Allow attraction to happen with all feminine energies that you come in contact with. Only take action on them when you really know your energies have a great time playing. Never force it. That is not the natural flow of things. 

The power of understanding the interplay of feminine and masculine energies is freedom.

Much Love,

Blue Haze

How to Let Your Guard Down. featured article by Blue Haze

Below is an excerpt from the article. It has a link at the bottom to the full article.

How to Let Your Guard Down

Vulnerability can be a challenging and sometimes scary concept to think about. Jumping in and taking a risk requires being bold and being yourself.
Letting your guard down is vital in dating and relationships.

This is a topic that hits close to home.

I was in a five-year relationship that was very restricting and caused me to become very guarded. After that, I went into a nine-month relationship that was nothing but freedom.
The girl in the second relationship allowed me to hang out with friends and do what I wanted. However, I still had my guard up as an artifact of my previous relationship.
Through this second girl, I learned what it meant to let my guard down.
I have also learned how to let my guard down in general when it comes to meeting women in different situations.
It is a vital key to having long-term potential with a woman and having her respect you over time rather than become resentful of you if things don’t work out.
Here are some practical tips on helping you let your guard down: continue reading...

Full article link:

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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

BlueHaze was Recently Featured in an Article on!

Below is an excerpt from the article. It has a link at the bottom to the full article.

The Best Ways to Meet Your Online Dates Offline

When you are talking to someone online, there comes a point when you may decide to meet each other. Sounds pretty simple, right? Pick a place and then meet there.
However, many people may wonder if there is some process to asking for the meet-up and what you should do in order to meet up.

Should you pick up your date or meet at the date location?

From the girl’s perspective, it seems she has to be more wary when meeting up than guys do.
In general, women can take some precautions like continue reading...

Full article link:

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Monday, November 4, 2013

Blue Haze is Being Featured at! just ranked our blog as #1 in their Top 5 Dating blogs. We are honored that they have chosen us. You can check out the post at:

Thanks again to them for finding and ranking our site. You can also check out their partner site at: bazoocam or go directly to their site at dating-pulse.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

When a Woman Opens You: How to Help Her Close You

girl opens you
Sometimes a woman will open up a window of communication with you. What many guys will do is give her a "special" or tryhard response. Or the guy will start doing a bunch of techniques, teases, or moves that kill the interaction. Many guys either think, "shit I need to do something special to keep her attention", or "fuck I'm scared. What do I do?". What you need to realize is that, many times, a woman will open up a line of communication to you and you should just relax and be yourself. Here's an example:

A girl I haven't talked to in awhile texts me. I have completely forgotten about her and this text comes out of the blue. Automatically, what I do is keep going about whatever I was doing and give her a very generic response. The reason I give a generic response is because the only purpose of my response is to indicate to her that the communicate link has been established. This is the reason she sent that first text anyway. She has set the frame for my first response and I need to adhere to that or risk losing the interaction. Anyway, it takes no investment on my part. I just sent her a generic text. (ex. I'm doing great. You?).

Another very important thing I do is be patient. Okay, so she sent me a generic "how are you?" and I returned a generic response. Like I mentioned, we have to clearly realize that all we are doing is helping her open up that communication link. The next step is to let her feel comfortable communicating what she had on her mind. I do not mean that you are going to comfort her or kiss her ass. On the contrary, I mean that we need to not respond too fast. That means, send your responses spaced out about the same time she takes to respond to you. You can think of this as "pacing". You want to let her go at her communication pace. Remember, she did the favor of talking to you in the first place. So let thing flow at her pace at least at the beginning of the conversation. This will let her be comfortable.

This whole example is in regards to the phone. However, you can also apply these same principles in person.

Once the conversation has become comfortable for her, then time becomes your ally. As stated by one of my favorite natural game instructors, Alexander, arousal is a function of time. You want to let things flow for a bit. However, eventually you are going to want to throw in some teases or other stimulation if the conversation becomes stale and you haven't closed yet.

Here is a vital piece of the puzzle. I call it closing. That means that you need to either know when she is going to close the conversation or if you are going to close the conversation. If you let things linger too long, she will feel that you have nothing better to do or that you are clueless about moving things in the right direction by finishing the conversation. You can do this by saying you gotta go or you can set up a date or anything else that will set up the conversation for the next step or postpone for another time.

So relax and help the poor girl get what she came for. Don't be a dumbass and ruin a perfect opportunity. All you have to do is remain calm and assertive. Bring the interaction to completion. I, myself, have ruined a few of these opportunities in my learning phase. For example, There have been times when women have wanted to have sex with me and I started using techniques on them or just freezing up. Those things made me lose those opportunities. When a woman is leading, just let her feel comfortable. She is doing the work at that point.

Hope you enjoyed and Talk to you soon,


Sunday, October 20, 2013

BlueHaze was Recently Featured in an Article on!

Below is an excerpt from the article. It has a link at the bottom to the full article.

Does Dating Make You Anxious?

The first thing we need to figure out is what dating anxiety is or, in essence, it’s definition.

Let’s break it down into the two terms:

Dating is when two people make an agreement to meet with each other at a location and spend time getting to know each other in order to figure out if they are potentially going to be compatible with each other.

Anxiety is a feeling of being unsure and that feeling translating into a physical sensation that causes a host of unwanted emotions.

Dating anxiety is the fear of meeting with someone who will not accept you as a compatible partner. This translates to physical sensations that will cause you to act differently and leads to a negative spiral of behaviors that sabotage the whole interaction.

I want to focus on ways to tackle dating anxiety in this article. continue reading...

Full article link:

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Monday, September 16, 2013

Technique-Based Game vs. Natural Game: Natural Game is Superior

Hey Guys,

I just got a good laugh out of this video. The main message is that the guy on the left does a great job at showing how ridiculous technique-based game can be. Natural game is the way to go.

Share this post by clicking on the facebook icon below! Thanks

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Podcast with Myself and Steve "El Topo" Mayeda on Mentality and Inner Game Concepts

Hey Guys,

I recently recorded a podcast with El Topo. I am the guest speaker and talk about mentality in regards to pickup. Check it out and let me know what you think. You can check it out with the link below.

el topo pua
El Topo

Much Love,

Blue_Haze (Robert R.)

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Pickup Can Hurt You. Free Your Inner Self Rather Than Over-thinking.

A question I want to pose to you is: Is pickup hurting your chances at getting a woman or is it helping you?

It is vital to find a structure for studying and to only read the material you need. It is also key that you play to your strengths rather than to your weaknesses. Eliminate any PUA material that clutters your mind or makes you nervous infield. Meeting women should be stress-free and fun.

Be yourself, be honest, be expressive. You are the man.

Any time you are doing pick-up ask yourself if you are hurting your chances by using pickup or if you are improving your chances. Many times, people find their new girlfriend/boyfriend when they aren't even trying.

Be attractive. You are born for it.

Much Love,


Saturday, August 24, 2013

Paradigm Shifts and Reverting Back To Simplicity

Hi Guys,

It's been a short time since I have posted. The reason is because I have been going through massive paradigm shifts and have been truly starting to understand a lot of things that I didn't clearly see when I joined the community.

There are really a lot of blind spots and pitfalls that guys encounter when joining the community. What happens is that most guys get stuck and actually never see these pitfalls and blind spots, so they end up failing. According to Sinn, approximately something like 95% of guys in the community end up failing. Yes, this is a sobering statistic but you can be in the successful 5%. Even though this may be true, you can still become successful. However, you have to approach pickup from a very special prospective. This includes, not being afraid to be yourself, facing your fears, having other people critique you and give you an outside viewpoint, reading all kinds of material, picking up women with many different wing men, meeting gurus, etc. I have done all of these things.

What eventually startled me is that I realized that simplicity is really the key. All of these experiences only showed me what I shouldn't be doing. And it eventually pointed me back to simplicity in the end.

First of all, I have to tell you that there are rabbit holes that you don't want to go down. These would be going out to bars every week hunting for women. This is really an illusion. I, myself did it for very very long periods of time and have seen many other guys do the same. It is really an infinite loop of chasing a carrot on a stick. Unless you are taking girls home the same night, there really is no other purpose to go out hunting for women at bars. And taking women home on the same night eventually will get old. That, in itself, is nothing but an ego boosting exercise that will boost you only for an amount of time.

So why do men go to bars constantly to do pickup? It's because Mystery pioneered the idea and it became the norm to do so. In reality, you can meet women in many other ways that are much more efficient and fulfilling.

Apart from all of this shit, I have honestly found that simply being a normal average guy with at least normal attributes will get you what you need. All you have to do is have an honest and normal exchange with a women and she will like you. Sad to say, I used to use a bunch of pickup knowledge and thought it was helping me. However, it nearly destroyed all of my interactions with women. False time constraints, not being needy, hiding my intentions. All of this shit destroyed my interactions. Nowadays, I just express myself normally and I get laid. Simple as that.

We have to come back to the idea of marketing and swimming in a sea of pickup material on the internet. Even living in a pickup city like Austin, I saw stuff live and in person that was not exactly what I needed to know. You have to be willing to accept that there is only limited pickup info that pertains to you in particular and that you have to play to your strengths rather than try to completely reinvent yourself that you have developed throughout your lifetime.

Pickup is a fantasy world that really strokes guys egos (mental masturbation). You can achieve some of the experiences that pickup gurus have. I, myself, became good at same night lays. It does give you a high. But, in the end, when you are standing in front of one beautiful woman that you trust and have a relationship with, you are able to express in the truest form of yourself. You must be willing to have pure honesty and connect with a woman on a one-to-one basis that celebrates the man and woman connection. This is the celebration of masculinity and femininity combining as one in the ying and yang. Being fake and lying to women to get sex or to boost the ego is truly a mockery of a man's inner self.

Be willing to celebrate who you are and express it to the world. Do not mask who you are by using pickup. Do not fake who you are. Do not think techniques can cover up your flaws. You flaws will shine through truer than you can imagine. Work on loving yourself and not being afraid to show the world that you are an imperfect being. Women will love you for that.

So here you are, the celebration of the self, the natural game guy that is a normal human being. We aren't pickup clowns or magicians. We are men and that is all we are. We were born to reproduce and we should embrace that we are naturally attractive at our cores. EXPRESS yourself to women. EXPRESS yourself through your clothing, job, car, body language, choice of friends, the way your conduct yourself and your cleanliness. Women want a real man, not a man with a mask that hides from the world.

Hiding behind a pickup mask is a pure expression of insecurity. Women already know this and it cannot be hidden. When you put your personality on the line and have no fear whether someone will smash it or not, you become attractive.

See the truth and get success. Only few make it in the community. I want you to be one of the few that sees the truth.

Much love,


Saturday, July 6, 2013

Same Night Lays

I've been doing SNL game recently and have been getting further and further along in interactions with women in this respect.

I remember, awhile back, I noticed girls coming to bars just to get laid. They usually come in pairs with both of them wanting to get laid or just one of them.

Another surprise was that I noticed that they USUALLY go home alone. (aka they fail at finding a guy that has the balls to take them home)

That is where SNL game comes in. YOU become the guy that steps up to the plate and gives her what she came to the bar for.

Surprise #3. Women drink to turn off their logical brain and make themselves more open to sex. Yes, women get buzzed or drunk to help THEMSELVES get laid.

So when I notice all these ques...I approach and escalate physically right off the bat.

Then what?

There really is not much verbal game at that point. You can talk the most nonsense you want. I never remember what I say. It's all dictated by nonverbal behavior and finding out logistics.

A BIG point to make about escalating is that I use compliance tests without caring if I get blown out.

The structure is:

escalate, compliance test, escalate, compliance test, escalate, compliance test, etc...

Once I get the makeout...then I start asking logistical questions..."who did you come with", "what are you doing later", "have work in the morning?"...

I also tell her my friends gave me a ride but they left so I need a ride from her (credit Topo)

At that point, I will go outside with the girl and go to her car whether or not she is being receptive or not.

(Persistence is key at this point. The girl may or may not give you green light ques. You responsible for moving it forward)

Another tip: make sure you win over her friend. Her friend will facilitate you going home with her.

Lastly, get to the sex location for a happy ending.


More Observations:

I had a girl ask me to go home with her last night.

What I have observed a few times is that dancing has led to a girl wanting me to go home with her. These different times it has involved the girl grinding her ass on me. I'm thinking their buying temperature spikes up fast especially if they feel your dick grinding on them. I always try to come in non-threatening when I join a girl on the dance floor. It's easy to raise their defense if you are too aggressive. 

That's point #1. The second point is that I make sure to get their number and ask some comfort questions while I'm escalating along with logistical questions. 

I always do a makeout. However, I have been told many times the contrary. 

I'll try to bounce her around the bar or club a little bit to get more comfort after dancing. 

That's mainly what I saw from last night and a few other nights.


Okay, tonight was no exception. I had 2 girls wanting to hang out tonight. I met them both tonight. One wanted to go to a diner and the other wanted me to go home.

No surprise.

What did I learn from tonight?

Well, a nightclub doesn't work by the rules of the normal social world and neither do women. 

The keywords are FUN and MINDSET.

I went into the club with the mindset that I am the man. I also went into the club with the mindset of being easily distracted by whatever caught my eye. This is a childlike mindset and is important to have. I made sure to pepper in some masculine dominance and strong intent. 

So how do you implement this?

Find whichever girl catches your eye and excites you, walk over to her with a strong masculine frame, and say anything that comes to your mind. The main point is that women are mirrors. Whatever you feel, they feel. So if you are having a blast and easily distracted, that is a great frame for them to mirror and enjoy. There are no barriers. Everyone woman is yours and you will take her with strong intent and FUN.

Yeah techniques and routines are great but do you think women give a fuck about that?? Nooo. They just want you to have FUN.

I can't remember how many makeouts and grouping sessions happened tonight but it doesn't matter. I don't care about building up statistics of how many or how many numbers I got. Everything falls into place when you are having a blast and ENGAGING the women that you find attractive. 

SNL game isn't shit. It's just an extension of you being POSITIVE DOMINANT, ESCALATING, and having FUN. SNLs will just fall into place. You do have to have experience with physical escalation, basic body language, and some calibration along with knowing how to ask the proper logistical questions to get the SNL solidified but that is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Sidenote: its okay to approach girls in front of girls you just approached. It makes the girls want you more when they see you with someone else. (makes you look like THE MAN)

Tonight was a blast I look forward to more!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Sexual Tension Control

Hey Guys,

I have been expanding my mind a lot lately regarding women. Something that flashed in my mind recently was an idea I call sexual tension control (STC). I would say it's a mix between Mystery's' "cat string theory" and Sinn's idea of "female personalities" along with my ideas on sexual tension. 

To start off, I will explain the idea of "female personalities". The basic idea is that women have separate personalities that you can bring out in them. These different personalities are, many times, very compartmentalized. For example, you can talk to a woman in a way that accesses only her sexual personality. She will get turned on and ready for sex. However, if you don't talk to her logical or social persoanlity (or part of her brain), then the two personalities may have conflict. That means that you could turn her on sexually but also have her usually her logic side to talk herself out of having sex with you. Women have different parts of their brain conflicting all the time. The two main personalities women have are the sexual and logical. You have to satisfy both of these to get sex.

In this regard, you should directly access a woman's sexual personality. It's like she has a cast of characters in her head. This character is the naughty one. You may wonder how you can access this personality. The best way I can explain it is "you should go SEXUAL". That means innuendos, touching, moving, and anything else regarded as sexual escalation. Once you see a response and compliance, then that means you are usually talking to her sexual side at that point. From there, you need to start sexual tension control.

So what is tension? Tension is when you keep something tight without releasing the slack. It could apply to anything. In regards to women, it is when you keep their emotions at a point that keeps them anxious but without making them uncomfortable. It's like pulling a rubberband to the point where it may break but it doesn't. That is where women start feeling tension in a good way.

My method for achieving tension is pretty simple. "E, C, E, C, E" You escalate then look for compliance and then repeat until you reach the tension point. For example, I will touch and then see if the girl accepts. If she accepts, then I will grab. If she accepts that, then I will ask if she is a good kisser. If she accepts that, then I will go in for the kiss. See the idea? I keep pushing the boundaries until I get a good que that I have reached a good tension point. This is just one aspect of the physical form of tension. It also involves posture, eye contact, proximity, and other cues you give off. Verbal tension is a bit different and involves role-playing along with innuendo and misinterpretation. Innuendo and role-playing are a way to build sexual tension without going fully explicit. Innuendo and role-playing are very powerful because they create a huge amount of sexual tension.

What is control? In this context, control is pretty complex since it makes the woman infer many things about you and you play a role. Control is when you are basically directing, leading, and creating the emotional tension between you and the woman. She will sway in different directions during the tension, however, as long as you stay in control of the tension, it defines your role as the male of the interaction. And as you may know, females are attracted to males. Females are usually not attracted to men that display feminine traits (are easily influenced or can't take control). 

Examples of control would be being unreactive to her attempts to test your frame when you are talking to her in a sexually explicit way. Another form of control is making innuendos while directing them in a sexual way. This means, not explicitly stating to her that you want to fuck her but rather playing with it using normal wording in a way that could easily be misconstrued for something normal. This shows sexual dominance and experience. This amplifies your man-signal that she is absorbing and turning up her attraction dial.

Control can be expressed in different ways. It can be physical, mental, emotional, verbal, social, and so on. You can also call it "holding your frame". Men hold the frame. Women follow the frame. This is when natural attraction occurs.

So what is sexual tension control? Sexual Tension Control is when you verbally, physically, or emotionally entice a woman to her tension zone using touching, sexual wording, innuendo, etc. and are able to keep her there appropriately while enduring tests of your frame. 

Why is this important? This is where the magic happens. When you are able to control sexual tension, the woman submits to you sexually. This is how you get makeouts, same night lays, and really anything else you want with a woman. Woman define their lives by their sexuality. When you are able to stimulate them and take the lead, it really his deep with them and they see you as a true MAN. 

There are many techniques that you can learn in order to be proficient at sexual tension control. This is just the main concept. If you are able to internalize this concept and apply it using techniques you have learned, then you will start getting results that you desire from women. 

Hope you guys enjoyed and talk to you soon,


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Starting a New Website / Business

Hey guys,

Check out my website for a free forum and also become a member. I will be posting a lot of valuable information on this site.

Talk to you soon,


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

So I have just come out of a relationship and went on a pickup binge. I got more than 20 phone numbers and did tons of hours in field. I also started feeling mixed emotions which consisted of hopelessness and determination all wrapped up together.

What I learned is that failure teaches you what works. If you are lucky, you will learn what works at the beginning. But usually, you learn all the things that don't work first then suddenly, a light bulb goes off and you realize what you should be doing.

Yes, I am pretty ragged right now but I have had so many numbers flake recently that I finally hit the stupid lightbulb that showed me that, "DUH", I need to stop putting band aids on bad approaches and expect girls to text me back or answer my calls after a shallow pickup.

Also, trying to text game or phone game a girl that you didn't connect with on the initial approach is pretty damn hard. If you have a great approach and interaction then you have some wiggle room to fall down from and make mistakes in your texting and phone calls.

I also realized that I always blame myself and think that there is something wrong with me when a girl doesn't answer. I couldn't be further from the truth. Women only respond to someone that they really connected with  in a way that in beneficial to them or interests them somehow.

Anyway, rambling is over. Talk to you guys soon,


Friday, April 19, 2013

How to be Fun and Confident

I usually post original material but this video set off a light switch for me. Even though it may not seem so serious, this kid really hits the nail on the head when it comes to confidence, fun, and arrogance in a conversation with women. I used his same attitude when picking up girls tonight and ended up with 6 phone numbers and multiple dances. Check it out and see how he interacts with the girls in his video.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Plateaus, Luck, and Probablity

So you might be wondering what these three things have in common.

Well, they all fit together during times of what I call, "the desert". The desert is a time when you might feel like giving up when results just aren't coming in. I've felt like this at various times during my journey to become better with women.

So let's start off with plateaus.

Plateaus are times in your development when you feel like your progress is at a halt or has significantly slown down. In my own experience, plateaus are short for me because I will absorb information from others and from written material very fast then figure out a way to make my progress jump again.

On the other hand, I have met some people that will stay at a plateau for weeks or even months. They will hit their plateau and then just give up, become a keyboard jockey, or continue the same behaviors and expect for their results to change.

One of the main things I have seen people do is repeat the same actions and expect new results. In order to get better results you have to calibrate what you are doing and modify it to be more effective. This take trial and error, watching others, and studying at home.

So what about Luck?

This is something I have experienced many times while learning game. There have been many times when I have met a wingman that has taught me something so important. And it has happened by luck. There have been times when I felt like giving up and I met someone that taught me something new that catalyzed me to new heights after being in a deep pit. For example, I was thinking about leaving the community altogether recently until I met a wingman that showed me some daygame techniques. That catalyzed me to do a 7 day approach challenge with myself and I learned how to effectively approach women during the daytime.

You never know when you will be propelled forward by someone or learn something from reading that will increase your results dramatically. The main thing is to just keep looking and meeting people. From time to time, you will get these rare gems of knowledge. However, if you only half-ass your time in the community, you may never get to these lucky rare gems.

Lastly is probability

Increasing or decreasing your probability is a factor in your success in pickup. Sitting at your computer all day or sticking to one group of pickup guys will most-likely decrease your probability of success in becoming better with women.

You can increase your probability of success by:

1. Meeting lots of wingmen
2. Approaching a lot
3. Trying many types of game
4. Reading from different sources
5. Having more interaction with women

There are many more ways to increase your probability of success. But, if you just spend your time doing one thing, for example, just reading material all the time or just doing one type of pickup, then your probability for success will dramatically go down.

Let's bring these three things we discussed together...

Throughout your journey, you will be faced with plateaus. In order to overcome these plateaus, you must raise your probability of success by doing actions. Overall, on your journey, if you overcome plateaus and increase probability, you will eventually uncover hidden gems by luck (unpredictable when you will find these) that will propel you forward by a big margin.

The main thing is to be efficient and hard working along with being consistent and very determined. If you do this all the time (months or even years), you will become great with women. It is a very unpredictable course in the short run, but realize that in the long run it all leads to success to those that or organized and work hard.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

How to Achieve Success with Women

Most of the challenges we face with becoming good with women are limiting beliefs and mental blocks. There have been many times where I have realized that my state of mind was the only thing that blocked me from doing what I wanted. Limiting beliefs also set up a fence around what you can and can't do.

Without dealing with your limiting beliefs and mental blocks, learning pick-up or seduction will be dysfunctional or limited results will be achieved. If you really want to excel and put yourself ahead of everyone, fix these things first.

Limiting Beliefs

Here are three types of limiting beliefs:

1. What you believe you can or can't do

Here is a personal example of this from my experience. For example, there was a time where I made out with a very hot blonde at a bar. Previous to that, I felt that it wasn't something that I could do. Another example is my first time approaching a really attractive girl during the day and creating attraction. Until then, I didn't feel that I could do that.

After experiencing these two scenarios, my beliefs in what I could do expanded. Also, after these experiences, I realized that I should always believe that I can do anything. It's better to give yourself the artificial confidence and belief rather than wait until you get the experience. Always realize that you deserve the hottest and highest value girls out there.

2. What you believe is possible

Many times, we don't have things like same night lays or instant make outs in our realm of reality. Usually, it takes reading, a video, or actually seeing someone do it to realize that it is possible and bring that possibility into your reality. There is so much you can do with women that you may not realize. Always strive and have faith that anything is possible. Guys who think this way usually have experiences and "get away" with stuff that most other guys never even try.

3. What you believe women to be

There are so many myths out there about women. One myth is that they aren't into sex as much as men are. That is definitely a myth because women have more elaborate fantasies and can have stronger sex drives than men.

I recommend looking up "limiting beliefs" or "myths". I have read a lot of material on this from various pick-up artists. I remember when I first started, I read belief myths and they blew my mind. Realizing that women liked to be approached and that they really like sex was a revelation to me. It opened my realm of possibilities up where I was able to do a lot more with my skills.

Another self-defeating mechanism that we have is the idea of mental blocks.

What are mental blocks?

Mental blocks are fears, anxiety, self-programming, and much more. Many guys sabotage themselves before they even begin saying a word to a woman. Examples of this would be saying, "She probably has a boyfriend", or, "She probably won't talk to me or will blow me off". Moreover, guys will have irrational fears that they don't know where they come from.

Approach anxiety. Fear. Avoidance. Worry.

All of these are emotions that reflect insecurities about ourselves. We may have approach anxiety because we think we are not good enough for the girl. Or past experiences of embarrassment have conditioned us to be fearful of approaching. We may be avoidant in other areas of our lives and it reflects in our avoidance of interaction with women. Also, worrying about whether she will respond to your text or call reflects past rejections or possibly scarcity of women in your life.

There are many ways to convert all these negative emotions and mental blocks into positives in your life and allow you a clear mental pathway to becoming good with women.

What you can do:

1. Understand that you deserve the woman in front of you
2. Understand that you have nothing to lose by approaching a woman
3. Understand that trying is better than doing nothing
4. Realizing that not all women will want you. So it is normal to get blown out of a set.
5. Face all of your feelings and analyze the root of each one. (understanding fear is what dissolves them).

The main idea of everything in this article is that limiting beliefs and mental blocks are the bottleneck that limits our success with women. Even if you read every pick-up pdf, article, and video on the internet, if you don't have your limiting beliefs and  mental blocks in order, there will be no mastery of your craft.

Spend some time with yourself and thinking about why you feel certain ways and fix them. It is a continual process and new feelings always come up. If you can do this, they your success with women will skyrocket.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Focus on Your Journey

A lot of times I wondered if I would ever get over some of the hurdles I've encountered while learning how to be better with women.

One of the main things I learned was that I got better results when I focused on my journey rather than on getting results. I have always kept my end goals in mind but made sure they guided my journey.

Something else I learned is that there always has to be focused study and preparation before going out and doing things. It's important to be ready for what you are about to do. Many times, I would go out and just do whatever. I got way better results by practicing at home beforehand and getting mental preparation.

So just a quick structure of what I do before I go out and game:

1. Meditation
2. State of mind meditation and self-suggestions
4. Practice out loud
5. Mirror practice

What I do after I get home:

1. Journaling - includes what I did, how I felt, what I learned, and what I can improve on

This kind of focused work is what helps me prepare for and then reflect on what I am doing. During reflection, I am able to pinpoint things that I need to work on and then focus on only those things the next time I go out. I like to use the 80/20 rule which means 80% of your results come from the most effective 20% of your actions. That's why I pinpoint the 20% of actions that can give me the most results.

A lot of times, you may need to do minimal reading and more action to get results. However, there have been times where I have done lots of reading. It just depends on what you are trying to accomplish. Reading and action can both vary depending on your goals. I see pickup and seduction as something that is learned differently by everyone.

Always focus on having a great journey. You must enjoy your journey. Just like in other professions, when you start attaching your happiness to just getting results, you become sad. If you love your journey and the challenges you are faced with, you will get the results you are looking for. But you always have to keep your focus in mind.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Never Become Submissive in a Relationship

I was thinking about this for awhile. As a man, you should always keep your own identity strong and be masculine.

Many times, in relationships and interactions with women, men become submissive and weak over time. They start to feel scarcity and feel that it is okay to allow the woman to overcome them.

However, submissiveness is an inherently feminine trait. Women like to be lead by the man. Once you allow the woman to lead you and dominate you, you have become the feminine energy. Women do not respect this  type of energy as a sexual or male counterpart. They respect they feminine energy as a friend or from other women.

Naturally, women are programmed to test you and pull you down from your masculine self into a feminine self. They do it because it allows them to weed out the weak men. It also allows them to test you and see if you will give up your dominance and masculinity. Once you do that, they lose attraction for you. Women are attracted to the masculine just like men are attracted to feminine. Think about it, if you are around a burly masculine woman, your attraction level for her will probably be very low or nothing at all. Same for women.

So the main idea is that you have to maintain your masculinity (balls) all the time. No matter if you are in a committed relationship. You are the man and have to fill that role always.

A great article by David DeAngelo talks about the same subject just from a different angle:

Take a look and I hope this helps you.

Neediness VS Assertiveness

To push or not to push? To call or not to call? To ask for a date or to wait?

These are regular questions a guy might ask himself. A lot of guys try to avoid being "needy" by waiting a few days to text a girl or by being mysterious or closed off. Guys will also try to be "alpha" or push the girl away. Really, trying to be non-needy is okay but not as effective as using frames.

If you frame your interaction correctly, you don't have to be focusing on being "non-needy".

When you frame your interaction sexually, and also frame yourself as masculine, you can call, text, ask for dates, escalate physically, etc when you want and ask much as you want without fearing that the girl will think you are all over her.

However, if you frame the interaction between both of you as "friends" or something non-sexual or non-masculine, your calls, texts, and physical advances will be seen as needy. So no matter how much you try to appear "non-needy" anything you do will come off as needy if you set the wrong frame.

For example, I met a girl and set a sexual / masculine frame. At one point she said no to sex more than 5 times and every time I kept pushing forward and being assertive. She never saw it as needy. She saw me as an assertive man and respected me due to the fact that we were operating in the right frame.

Frames make life easier.

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Monday, February 11, 2013

Being Persistent is GOOD!

There are so many times that I have gotten "no", "not now", "I'm busy", "call you later", "I just met you, I can't do this", and other similar responses from girls. I've also called and gotten no answer until hours later or texted and gotten a response a day later.

So all these times that I've gotten these responses they have registered in my mind as "YES I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU". Why? you may ask. Because women rarely say yes I want to fuck you. If a girl is responding to me and giving me legitimate reasons as to why she can't have sex at the moment, then I know she will have sex with me. Also, if she says she barely met me or doesn't know me enough, that is because I need to get more rapport or "comfort" with her. All these "soft" "no's" have to do a lot with social conditioning. Let's explore reasons for her saying no.

1. Not appearing like a slut - women will say no to you if they just met you so they won't appear like a slut to you and to people in general. She may be completely turned on on the first date or meeting but may still hold her desire back due to this. If you are slick enough, you can still get through this barrier by isolating and getting the girl in a private location like your bedroom. Location and situation can push her over the mark.

2. She is very busy - there have been times times in the past when I might text a girl and get a response much later on. In one case, I texted a girl 4 times and each time it took her at least 4 hours to respond. Then I set up a date with her. She cancelled the date the same day. I persisted and asked her when I better time was. Again, she took a few hours to respond. However, she did respond and set another time to meet. We finally met up for the date and she says she can only be awhile because she has homework. So I kiss her at the end of the date. Later on that night she calls me and I give her a ride home from downtown. I end up in her bed and sleeping with her. The main idea is that I never saw her slow responses or cancelling as negative. All I saw was that she WAS responding and WAS meeting up with me. I f-closed her. I just had to work around her schedule.

3. She sees long-term potential - if a girl sees you as a potential boyfriend she may withhold sex for fear of you leaving her if she gives it up too fast. Women have become used to guys having sex with them then never hearing from them again. So if things are going really well with a girl and she won't have sex for a few weeks, talk things out with her or evaluate the situation and see if things are really vibing with you and her.

4. She is shy, nervous, or inexperienced - sometimes girls will be unsure of themselves or how you feel about them. Usually, they will play the safest route which might mean her telling you "no" or making excuses. What you have to do is lead the interaction. YOU have to kiss her. YOU have to lead her to her room or yours and initiate sex. The girl might act like she doesn't want to but it's because she is nervous. Just lead the interaction whenever it seems like she is lost.

5. You haven't built enough rapport - If a girl hasn't felt enough comfort with you or gotten to know at least a little bit about who you are, she will feel uncomfortable having sex with you. So if you ask for sex without having at least a good conversation with her, she will not feel safe with you due to you being an unknown to her. Share a little bit about yourself and get to know about her before trying for sex.

6. She doesn't know if you will stay around after - to overcome this, you want to tell the girl that you LIKE her for SPECIFIC reasons. You also want her to know that you want to GET TO KNOW HER more. You also want to FUTURE-PROJECT which means you mention seeing her again the future for the reason of getting to know her more. Once you do this, she won't feel like you will just disappear after sex.

7. Logistics - you need to have the right situation and timing for sex to happen. For example, if the girl's parents are home, it will be much more difficult for you to bang her at her place. Or, if she has work early in the morning, she might turn you down because she has to wake up early.

8.She needs to be warmed up some more - A lot of times, you will be in bed with a woman and she will say no or we aren't having sex tonight. In other words, she is saying, "please get my pussy wet before I fuck you". Plain and simple. You need to get her more excited before she feels comfortable with having sex.

I'm sure there are more "soft no's" that I can list. These are the main ones I could think of off the top of my head.

So let's sum it up. Nothing means "no" unless she really tells you to fuck off or that she really doesn't want to have sex with you. A very solid no or her ignoring you does mean no. Otherwise, keep persisting at a steady pace and don't get agitated because the girl will sense it and realize if you are needy or not. Being pleasantly persistent is completely acceptable.

Persistence gets you laid.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Does Using Routines Work?

I've spent a lot of time figuring out what works for me. I've tried routines and I've also tried just going into sets without thinking at all.

For myself, I've found that trying to purely run a routine really drains the creative energy from me if that is all I'm focusing on. On the other hand, going into a set with no plan or focus ends up giving me nothing.

The balance I found comes from going into a set with some expectations and an idea of what you are looking for in a girl. For example, I'll go into a set knowing that I want to see if the girl is fun and if she is open-minded. I won't have any routine planned but I will base evrything I say on trying to find out if she is fun and open-minded. During that interaction, I'll throw in some routines to hook the girl harder. I see routines as a spice that you add to the conversation to increase the fun level.

So, the way I see it, being natural is much easier than memorizing a lengthy routine and canned lines. I will throw in canned lines however as tools to help me though.

Overall, I would say be natural, have a few routines in the bag to spice things up, have fun, and get phone numbers. After that, it's all seduction and comfort which is later on or a day2.

Enjoy yourself in-field and get results.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Approaching from a Girl's Perspective

This is one of the most insightful and useful videos (or material is general) that I have seen in a long time. Hayley Quinn expertly breaks down so many aspects of the approach in this audio while also giving you the girl's point of view.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Going Direct

So after a lot of infield trying to learn how to effectively approach, I finally gave myself some insight into why things were going rough for me.

I kept wondering and finally realized that my style is predominantly direct. I know there is a debate between whether direct or indirect is better. Supposedly, they are both great depending on the situation and what would be more effective for you at that specific time.

For myself, I like getting straight to the point fast. On the other hand, there are guys that are more chatty and social so it seems that indirect might be more effective for them in general.

The insight I have here is that you should use your strengths to your advantage. In the example of myself, I spent time trying to learn indirect which instead of direct which I am stronger in. So many sets that blew out were due to me trying to attempt indirect while coming off direct.

Think about your strengths and use them first. Then later, you can try to work on styles that may not be natural for you.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Good Rule of Thumb when Stating Intent

This is something that I find pretty interesting and I used to try to hide my intent or my desire from a girl because what I had read from the community says you need to mask your intent so that you can retain your value in the girl's eyes.

What I believe is misinterpreted a lot is that hiding your intent initially is only a tactic used at the initial approach to open a set so that you can reach the social hook point. Actually, stating your intent and showing your intent is vital to keeping a girl. If you don't show intent, you will lose the girl.

However, I use my own rule of thumb when showing intent. Many guys have trouble with the idea of stating intent (Intent in the verbal form). Showing intent is tricky at first because it can be scary to think of yourself telling a girl that you like her and her rejecting you. However, if you do it correctly, it usually won't happen.

My rule of thumb is that I use statements of intent only for the purpose of turning on the switch in a girls minds so that she knows that I am interested in her.

On the other hand many guys state intent for their own purpose of venting their emotions of how they feel about the girl. This is something a child does to his mother. He will say mommy I love you. The child will repeat it a lot also. Children are inherently needy. You don't want to come across like this. When I state intent, it is not to vent my emotions of how I feel. I state intent because I want to comfort the girl and for her to know that she can move forward with me and that I am interested.

Bottom line is that statement of intent is a tool that lets down certain protection walls a girl has. Women are similar to men in some ways when it comes to getting nervous or unsure about a person they have just met. A lot of guys will sit around waiting for a girl to call or will wonder whether she likes him or not. Girls do the same thing. They get anxiety and will, most times, eject from the situation if they don't think you like them so that they can save face or feel better about themselves.

So main idea is that I state intent to show interest, intention, assertiveness, leadership, and masculinity. I have a good deal of calibration with stating intent and will even state intent right off the bat or I will tell a girl she is beautiful. However, if you are not calibrated yet, use the rule of thumb that I have. It helps a lot.

Great article on being Assertive

Interesting Routine and Observations

I see myself as stronger in escalation than at approaching so some interesting things have happened due to that.

Something that emerged as a routine for me has been escalating on girls that are either in a two-set or alone. I let that goes as far as they let it go or I will give them a false time restraint just to let them know I could leave at any moment.

Then I ask some comfort questions like what do you like to do or where are you from. I'll stay in set and try to get more comfort whether the girl tries to make me leave or not. If she does try to make me leave, I won't take that as rejection since it could be due to all kinds of other factors. I number close and throw in some teases at that point. Then I do some future projection letting them know I am not just a player and am interested in meeting with them in the future.

Something else I think is interesting is if I meet a girl but don't do much physical escalation and then number close (but I will do verbal escalation.) The girl might call me that same night around closing time of the club. But if I miss that call from them then try to call back they don't answer. I have had this happen multiple times and am not sure what the girl is thinking when she calls me and why she wont respond if I try to call after missing the call. I'm guessing they want a one night stand then when I don't answer, they talk themselves out of it.

Something to think about...


After talking to Steve "El Topo" Mayeda. He gave me the answer to my second situation. When the girl calls me at the end of the night she is horny. But when I miss the call, she feels shameful and her pussy gets dry. Once a girl's pussy gets dry, it's game over.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Falling into her Categories

An interesting idea. I was thinking about stereotypes, social conditioning, and screening. Women have all of these. When they first meet you, their mind is already filled with previous experiences of other men coming up and doing the same thing. Therefore, they already assume that you fall into the same category that 100's of other men that approached them have.

Or, let's say for example that a certain woman has had bad experiences with a certain race of men. If you are that race, then she might automatically disqualify you. This is an extreme example that probably doesn't happen much. The idea I'm getting across is that if you behave or fall into a category of men that she has generally had undesirable experiences with, she is putting up a wall right when you approach. It's a default wall that blocks out certain types of men. Or you filter yourself into a certain category in her mind.

Here's the applicable example. Let's say a woman has been approached by 500 needy guys out of the 1000 that have approached her in her life. Those 500 needy guys have generated a negative experience for her. So if you display the same or similar behaviors of those needy guys, you automatically raise her wall that she uses to block out the "needy" guys.

So right at the approach, you don't want any walls to come up. You do this by not having the behaviors of a needy guy. That means you come into the set with good posture, eye contact, you disqualify yourself as a potential suitor, you kino her confidently, you give off the right vibe, you clearly display your intention, etc.

The interesting point I want to get to is disqualifying yourself from the category you don't want to fall into. There are a ton of ways to do this and you can come up with your own. Let's say you want to disqualify yourself from the "needy" category. You can use a false time constraint. You could also show your intent to a girl then walk away and flirt from a distance. Basically, you are showing her that you don't fit into that category and that she can feel safe around you rather than putting up the wall that she uses to block all the needy guys.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Your Focus and It's Outcome

Think about this...

When you go into an interaction with a girl, you have a focus.

Many times, your focus with be subconscious and will give you an outcome without you knowing it.

That means you may go into an interaction with a girl subconsciously want to be "liked". What will then happen is that your focus will dictate your outcome. You will do whatever is needed for the girl to "like" you and that will be your outcome. For example, you may focus on being nice and making sure that there is no tension so that the girl will like you. There is your outcome...which is her "liking" you and you not fucking her.

Consciously, you focus may be to get laid. However, in the interaction where you are trying to achieve your subconsious focus, it will indirectly sabotage what your conscious focus is.

Therefore, you need to be focused and aware of what your focus is during your approach. Make sure that your actions match what you really want to get out of the interaction. For example, I want sex. So I will touch, verbally escalate, and isolate a girl to get what I want. That is my focus and that gives me my goal.

Make sure that your focus is proper when you are interacting with a girl. Remember that your focus gives you your outcome.


Saturday, January 12, 2013

PUA Material is Misinterpreted

I was taking a look at the Mystery Method Handbook again today and the thought kept coming to my head...this is advanced material or at least intermediate. I remember the first time I attempted to read the book without any infield experience.

I came to the conclusion that beginners misinterpret PUA material because it is not written only for beginners. The Mystery Method is written with a mixture of beginner, intermediate, and advanced theories and concepts. 

Actually, for beginners to read this material can be very damaging to them because they read it and then make their own interpretation of the material which is usually the literal interpretation. A real interpretation has to be done after a lot of experience. 

A great example of what I am saying is the PUA community itself. Mystery's techniques have been taken for their literal written interpretation and a perversion of his ideas have become the standard practice for many guys. You can see that so many guys that do pickup become more fucked up or never understand what they are actually doing. They just imitate exactly what the technique is without understand of the core principal of where it originates.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Oxymoron? Escalation Requires Acknowledging Boundaries

When I first started to learn escalation, I didn't understand that boundaries should be acknowledged during escalation. It is something I would have never thought because, in my mind, escalation meant pushing forward through everything and getting what I wanted.

Some guys that don't understand the concept, might say that doing this is letting the woman have control or being a beta male that is not pushing forward to his desire. However, acknowledging a girl's boundaries allows you to escalate even more.

An example of acknowledging boundaries would be escalating on a girl in a bar, walking back to your friends, then returning if she starts to look at you. Or you could talk or flirt from a distance. You are giving the girl her personal space. Then you can go back to her and escalate more. The basic idea is to let off the gas a little bit and calibrate yourself. You want to keep a steady amount of tension but not to overwhelm the girl.

More examples of calibrated escalation:

Asking a girl "what she is doing later" rather than saying let's go home together, grabbing a girl and getting close to her then pushing her away, escalating then walking back to your friends suddenly, being somewhat aloof while also touching and whispering in her ear, having normal conversation while touching and closing distance, telling her she is beautiful right off the bat while also leaning in, telling her she is beautiful and you want to kiss her, spanking her and telling her she is bad.

Also, being straightforward about what you are doing by saying "I want to kiss you" or "You are beautiful" releases her tension because then she sees that you are being honest and don't have any ulterior motive that  she may have to deal with later or worry about. If you show that you aren't hiding anything, she will feel more relaxed with you doing what you intend to do.

Some of these may not make sense in writing. All of this has to be experienced infield. What you are doing is creating two emotions at once. You are creating a sexual presence while also releasing awkward tension. You want to raise the sexual tension while lowering her level of commitment pressure. If she feels like you are demanding attention or demanding her to comply with what you are doing, then she may eject and avoid you completely. However, if you make it playful, give her space, or act aloof, you are telling her that there is no pressure for her to comply with anything. At the same time, you are raising the sexual tension which makes her turned on and her primal mind pushes her to want to continue the interaction.

So, for guys that are new to escalation, they may think that they have to keep pressuring the girl. They may also be afraid to lose the girl by walking away or acting aloof. However, the girl realizes that the guy does not  know what he is doing or thinks of him as a horny aggressive drunk.

Here is what calibration and acknowleding boundaries tells a girl:

1. This guy is socially and sexually calibrated. He is experienced.
2. I can trust him if I go home with him. He won't force sex on me and he will respect my boundaries when we are alone.
3. He doesn/t expect me to put anything into this interaction. It's FREE fun. I don't have to give anything back.
4. This guy has self control and can control my sexual desires with almost no effort.
5. He is mysterious because he only gives me a little at a time. I want to know more.

Here is what you tell women when you don't acknowledge their boundaries:

1. This guy is an idiot. He must not get out much. And when he does, he can't control his desires.
2. If I take this guy home, he is going to force sex on me and I am going to feel uncomfortable with him.
3. I'm here at this bar to have fun and this guy is giving me the negative emotion of pressure.
4. He must have not had sex in a long time. He seems very desperate.
5. He is not socially or sexually calibrated. He must not interact with women or people in general much.

Many guys will call this theory "push-pull". However, they use this term with the negative connotation of CONTROLLING the girl. They want to give and take away to gain control. A seducer sees things from a different angle. The angle is that you are respecting the girl's boundaries and turning her on at the same time.

The main idea is that you show sexual and social awareness and this comforts a girl, allowing her to feel comfortable with you moving forward sexually with her. Once you do this, you can make out, have sex, etc. much more easily.

It is VERY IMPORTANT to keep in mind the idea of sexual tension and commitment tension are separate. You want to MAINTAIN and increase sexual tension while decreasing commitment tension. If there is not tension at all in your interaction, then you aren't escalating. Even though this article is mainly about respecting boundaries, you have to make sure that you are keeping your interaction sexually charged. If your conversation feels very comfortable, then escalation isn't happening. You should always be pushing forward while also just letting the girl know that you know about her boundaries along the way.

For guys that are new to escalation, it is important to learn all your techniques first. You can try to learn and apply the boundaries theory if you can at the same time. Or you can just work on techniques without worrying about getting blown out. I found the boundaries theory to be intermediate level knowledge, but I'm sure some guys can pull it off as beginners.

Talk to you soon,