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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Never Become Submissive in a Relationship

I was thinking about this for awhile. As a man, you should always keep your own identity strong and be masculine.

Many times, in relationships and interactions with women, men become submissive and weak over time. They start to feel scarcity and feel that it is okay to allow the woman to overcome them.

However, submissiveness is an inherently feminine trait. Women like to be lead by the man. Once you allow the woman to lead you and dominate you, you have become the feminine energy. Women do not respect this  type of energy as a sexual or male counterpart. They respect they feminine energy as a friend or from other women.

Naturally, women are programmed to test you and pull you down from your masculine self into a feminine self. They do it because it allows them to weed out the weak men. It also allows them to test you and see if you will give up your dominance and masculinity. Once you do that, they lose attraction for you. Women are attracted to the masculine just like men are attracted to feminine. Think about it, if you are around a burly masculine woman, your attraction level for her will probably be very low or nothing at all. Same for women.

So the main idea is that you have to maintain your masculinity (balls) all the time. No matter if you are in a committed relationship. You are the man and have to fill that role always.

A great article by David DeAngelo talks about the same subject just from a different angle:

http://www.sosuave.com/romance/david/art167.htm

Take a look and I hope this helps you.


Neediness VS Assertiveness

To push or not to push? To call or not to call? To ask for a date or to wait?

These are regular questions a guy might ask himself. A lot of guys try to avoid being "needy" by waiting a few days to text a girl or by being mysterious or closed off. Guys will also try to be "alpha" or push the girl away. Really, trying to be non-needy is okay but not as effective as using frames.

If you frame your interaction correctly, you don't have to be focusing on being "non-needy".

When you frame your interaction sexually, and also frame yourself as masculine, you can call, text, ask for dates, escalate physically, etc when you want and ask much as you want without fearing that the girl will think you are all over her.

However, if you frame the interaction between both of you as "friends" or something non-sexual or non-masculine, your calls, texts, and physical advances will be seen as needy. So no matter how much you try to appear "non-needy" anything you do will come off as needy if you set the wrong frame.

For example, I met a girl and set a sexual / masculine frame. At one point she said no to sex more than 5 times and every time I kept pushing forward and being assertive. She never saw it as needy. She saw me as an assertive man and respected me due to the fact that we were operating in the right frame.

Frames make life easier.

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Monday, February 11, 2013

Being Persistent is GOOD!

There are so many times that I have gotten "no", "not now", "I'm busy", "call you later", "I just met you, I can't do this", and other similar responses from girls. I've also called and gotten no answer until hours later or texted and gotten a response a day later.

So all these times that I've gotten these responses they have registered in my mind as "YES I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU". Why? you may ask. Because women rarely say yes I want to fuck you. If a girl is responding to me and giving me legitimate reasons as to why she can't have sex at the moment, then I know she will have sex with me. Also, if she says she barely met me or doesn't know me enough, that is because I need to get more rapport or "comfort" with her. All these "soft" "no's" have to do a lot with social conditioning. Let's explore reasons for her saying no.

1. Not appearing like a slut - women will say no to you if they just met you so they won't appear like a slut to you and to people in general. She may be completely turned on on the first date or meeting but may still hold her desire back due to this. If you are slick enough, you can still get through this barrier by isolating and getting the girl in a private location like your bedroom. Location and situation can push her over the mark.

2. She is very busy - there have been times times in the past when I might text a girl and get a response much later on. In one case, I texted a girl 4 times and each time it took her at least 4 hours to respond. Then I set up a date with her. She cancelled the date the same day. I persisted and asked her when I better time was. Again, she took a few hours to respond. However, she did respond and set another time to meet. We finally met up for the date and she says she can only be awhile because she has homework. So I kiss her at the end of the date. Later on that night she calls me and I give her a ride home from downtown. I end up in her bed and sleeping with her. The main idea is that I never saw her slow responses or cancelling as negative. All I saw was that she WAS responding and WAS meeting up with me. I f-closed her. I just had to work around her schedule.

3. She sees long-term potential - if a girl sees you as a potential boyfriend she may withhold sex for fear of you leaving her if she gives it up too fast. Women have become used to guys having sex with them then never hearing from them again. So if things are going really well with a girl and she won't have sex for a few weeks, talk things out with her or evaluate the situation and see if things are really vibing with you and her.

4. She is shy, nervous, or inexperienced - sometimes girls will be unsure of themselves or how you feel about them. Usually, they will play the safest route which might mean her telling you "no" or making excuses. What you have to do is lead the interaction. YOU have to kiss her. YOU have to lead her to her room or yours and initiate sex. The girl might act like she doesn't want to but it's because she is nervous. Just lead the interaction whenever it seems like she is lost.

5. You haven't built enough rapport - If a girl hasn't felt enough comfort with you or gotten to know at least a little bit about who you are, she will feel uncomfortable having sex with you. So if you ask for sex without having at least a good conversation with her, she will not feel safe with you due to you being an unknown to her. Share a little bit about yourself and get to know about her before trying for sex.

6. She doesn't know if you will stay around after - to overcome this, you want to tell the girl that you LIKE her for SPECIFIC reasons. You also want her to know that you want to GET TO KNOW HER more. You also want to FUTURE-PROJECT which means you mention seeing her again the future for the reason of getting to know her more. Once you do this, she won't feel like you will just disappear after sex.

7. Logistics - you need to have the right situation and timing for sex to happen. For example, if the girl's parents are home, it will be much more difficult for you to bang her at her place. Or, if she has work early in the morning, she might turn you down because she has to wake up early.

8.She needs to be warmed up some more - A lot of times, you will be in bed with a woman and she will say no or we aren't having sex tonight. In other words, she is saying, "please get my pussy wet before I fuck you". Plain and simple. You need to get her more excited before she feels comfortable with having sex.

I'm sure there are more "soft no's" that I can list. These are the main ones I could think of off the top of my head.

So let's sum it up. Nothing means "no" unless she really tells you to fuck off or that she really doesn't want to have sex with you. A very solid no or her ignoring you does mean no. Otherwise, keep persisting at a steady pace and don't get agitated because the girl will sense it and realize if you are needy or not. Being pleasantly persistent is completely acceptable.

Persistence gets you laid.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Does Using Routines Work?

I've spent a lot of time figuring out what works for me. I've tried routines and I've also tried just going into sets without thinking at all.

For myself, I've found that trying to purely run a routine really drains the creative energy from me if that is all I'm focusing on. On the other hand, going into a set with no plan or focus ends up giving me nothing.

The balance I found comes from going into a set with some expectations and an idea of what you are looking for in a girl. For example, I'll go into a set knowing that I want to see if the girl is fun and if she is open-minded. I won't have any routine planned but I will base evrything I say on trying to find out if she is fun and open-minded. During that interaction, I'll throw in some routines to hook the girl harder. I see routines as a spice that you add to the conversation to increase the fun level.

So, the way I see it, being natural is much easier than memorizing a lengthy routine and canned lines. I will throw in canned lines however as tools to help me though.

Overall, I would say be natural, have a few routines in the bag to spice things up, have fun, and get phone numbers. After that, it's all seduction and comfort which is later on or a day2.

Enjoy yourself in-field and get results.