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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Neediness VS Assertiveness

To push or not to push? To call or not to call? To ask for a date or to wait?

These are regular questions a guy might ask himself. A lot of guys try to avoid being "needy" by waiting a few days to text a girl or by being mysterious or closed off. Guys will also try to be "alpha" or push the girl away. Really, trying to be non-needy is okay but not as effective as using frames.

If you frame your interaction correctly, you don't have to be focusing on being "non-needy".

When you frame your interaction sexually, and also frame yourself as masculine, you can call, text, ask for dates, escalate physically, etc when you want and ask much as you want without fearing that the girl will think you are all over her.

However, if you frame the interaction between both of you as "friends" or something non-sexual or non-masculine, your calls, texts, and physical advances will be seen as needy. So no matter how much you try to appear "non-needy" anything you do will come off as needy if you set the wrong frame.

For example, I met a girl and set a sexual / masculine frame. At one point she said no to sex more than 5 times and every time I kept pushing forward and being assertive. She never saw it as needy. She saw me as an assertive man and respected me due to the fact that we were operating in the right frame.

Frames make life easier.

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